


Lessons on the Farm

by Beckala



Series: Lessons Learned [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Clint Barton's Farm, Clint with a bow, Darcy just wants an Alpaca, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Nightmares, This was an excuse to use a hot barn sex scene I wrote, there are still a lot of feelings though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:35:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28364769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckala/pseuds/Beckala
Summary: Months after the fall of SHIELD and the betrayals at the tower Clint and Darcy get away for a few weeks at the farm to spend some time together and work on healing.“Is this why we had to get hay yesterday?” Darcy mutters against his lips and she can feel his laugh through her whole body.“Maybe.” He admits into her collarbone before sucking the skin into his mouth, his fingers already trailing up her thighs under the dress.“You,” Darcy gasps out, “bought hay so we could have sex on it?”
Relationships: Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis
Series: Lessons Learned [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077284
Comments: 16
Kudos: 68





	Lessons on the Farm

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of Lessons in Avoidance. It is also a shameless way to use some barn smut with Clint and Darcy that’s been sitting on my computer for a while now. That said, there are definitely some emotions and as always, some character growth. 
> 
> You could probably read this as a standalone but it would make more sense post Lessons.

“A farm?” Jane asks between bites of eggs.

“Yes Janie.” Darcy says primly taking a sip of her mimosa.“A farm. We’re going to a farm.Technically, a secret farm so don’t tell anyone.”

“Has he met you?” Jane questions giving Darcy an arch look as she cuts into her pancakes.

“Clearly he has.” Darcy replies, “Eat your breakfast.”

“My lips are sealed.” Jane agrees.

The cafe where they’re eating is one of Pepper’s favorites which is why Darcy feels safe with only a minimal security detail.Life has changed a lot in the four months since the fall of SHIELD.Darcy has been forced to conceded that she’s a public figure and one who draws attention when she goes places. Especially after the details of her kidnapping hit the news after her big reveal as Tony’s daughter. 

Now when Darcy leaves the tower without an Avenger she takes a Happy, Tony, and Clint approved security detail. The set up of said detail had been a fight for the record books but Darcy has become resigned to her new normal.It helps that even after months she’s still struggling through the effects of kidnapping triggered PTSD.Effects that have made it difficult to leave the tower after dark, go places she’s not familiar with, and talk to strangers. 

Brunch finishes on the high note of Jane agreeing to go shoe shopping which is why Mark Dawes, Darcy’s new giant head of security, is making his annoyed face. “You know we’re supposed to have enough notice to check the store first.Orders from —“

“I know who your orders are from.” Darcy interrupts, “I also know that I’m the boss.” It’s mostly true, she’d insisted on paying the security team herself out of her personal trust. She’d wanted to be in charge, or as in charge as possible considering.

“Ms. Lewis,” Dawes lets out a resigned sigh, “we didn’t bring a full detail because we were going to a previously secured location.”

“What if we only go to Pepper’s usual stores?” Darcy wheedles. It’s been months since she’s wanted to go shopping.Now that the urge has hit she needs it. She needs to try on expensive shoes and finally use that black card Tony keeps slipping into her wallet. 

“I can’t afford Pepper’s usual stores.” Jane pipes up and Darcy throws her a scathing look.

“My treat. Dawes, come on. I won’t tell if you won’t.” Darcy tries again and she can see the big man starting to relent. 

“Only stores we’ve previously approved for Ms. Potts.” He agrees and then looks over at his partner in the driver’s seat, Lucas Shaw.Shaw is smaller than Dawes although still intimidating. 

“Excellent.” Darcy agrees easily, “Shoes first Shaw.”

“Yes ma’am.” Shaw agrees and Darcy leans back in her seat.

“Your treat?” Jane whispers.The astrophysicist still isn’t used to having the security team around either.“You’re really leaning into this heiress thing huh?”

“I mean,” Darcy shrugs, “Tony keeps trying to force me to take his money and I’m still not working sooo why not?”

“Fair enough.” Jane says and settles back into her seat for the ride.

The not working thing is something Darcy tries not to think about too much.She’d tried to go back to the R&D floor but she’d only made it two hours before flashbacks of Dr. White dying and the kidnapping had her texting Clint to come save her.She hasn’t been able to go back since.She still helps Jane with research and she regularly works in Tony’s workshop with he and Bruce but nothing more.Tony has continued to pay her anyways.She’s officially an unemployed but still wealthy daddy’s girl.It’s a daily struggle to feel good about it.

They’ve been at the first store for twenty minutes when Darcy’s phone starts to buzz. She ignores the first vibration but when it goes off four more times in quick succession she knows exactly who it is.Pausing her adoration of the dark green velvet pumps on her feet she tugs the phone out of her bag to find four messages from Clint and one from Nat.

**_Updated security plans after brunch?_ **

**_Oooh shopping. I approve. ;)_ **

**_Are you going to model what you buy for me later?_ **

**_I encourage the purchase of anything tiny, lacy, and easy to remove. Love you._ **

Darcy smiles to herself at the last one and types back a quick love you too before she opens Nat’s message.

**Shoe shopping without me? I’ll keep Tony in the tower. Have fun.**

Well that’s good. Darcy hadn’t thought about the fact that Dawes would have to file an updated itinerary.Or really, she hadn’t thought about the fact that her father, boyfriend, and other over protective Avengers would probably be alerted to said updated itinerary. She decides not to worry about it. 

“What about these?” Jane is holding up a pair of supple knee high boots and Darcy raises an eyebrow.

“It’s almost spring.” She reminds the scientist.

“For the farm.” Jane clarifies and Darcy has to roll her eyes.

“I think it’s like a real farm Jane not playing farm. Not sure a 4” spike heel is going to be super practical around the chickens.”Although Darcy does want the boots. 

“But you’re going to get them right?” Jane asks, “I want them in brown.” 

“You’re really into this spending Tony’s money thing, huh?” Darcy replies with a laugh.

“I mean, I’m still recovering from a workplace hostage situation...” Jane is absolutely straight faced and it just makes Darcy laugh harder.

“Yeah you are bestie.By all means.”Darcy hands off the black card to the waiting sales person and they continue to try things on. 

The text from Tony arrives just as they’re pulling back into the parking garage. Darcy almost expects it considering the work out they gave his credit card.Jane was a terrible influence and in addition to the boots Darcy is coming home with two other pairs of shoes, a few very cute outfits, a new purse, and some lingerie.The lacy things she put on her own card.There are some things Tony doesn’t need to pay for. 

Darcy ignores the text which doesn’t matter because the man himself is waiting at the elevators in the garage, rocking on his heels.Abandoning her plans to just drop Jane off before directing Shaw out to Bed Stuy and Clint, Darcy gets out of the car. 

“I’m impressed kiddo. The Amex people called to make sure the purchases were approved.”Tony sounds way prouder than he should considering she spent the price of a decent car on clothes this afternoon. 

“You’re always telling me to embrace my status.” Darcy quips before letting him pull her into a hug.“Are you here just to ask about my spending or is there something else?”

“I was sent down to collect you both for dinner.” Tony says and his eyes widen just a bit at the bags filling the back of the town car.

“I promised Clint I’d come home.” Darcy is already trying to turn back to the car but Tony’s hand tightens on her wrist.

“Your hawk is here.Came up with Nat this afternoon for something. Everyone is already upstairs and food is on the way.” Tony is already pulling them towards the elevators.

“Yum.” Jane agrees and Darcy shoots her a look. “What? Team dinner is fun.You and Nat can keep trying to set up Steve.”

Darcy makes a noncommittal noise but she follows.Groups are still 50/50 for her.She’s made it through several loud team dinners since Thanksgiving mostly without incident.It doesn’t mean something can’t happen though and Darcy is not looking forward to another quiet panic attack. 

The elevators open on the common floor and the size of the space hides how loud the group of people all on the couches really are.Darcy scans the room and she finds a messy blond head from across the room. Clint is at one of the bars with Nat and Darcy watches him turn holding a beer and a high ball glass with three olives in it that has to be a martini.His smile when his gaze lands on her is bright.

“Look who I found downstairs.” Tony calls to a round of greetings from the group and Darcy follows him and Jane into the room.Clint meets them at the edge of the seating area and hands off the drink before dropping a kiss on her head. 

“Good day?” Clint asks quietly and they settle onto the end of one of the couches.

“Yeah.” Darcy agrees and she lets the conversation wash over her. 

It ends up being a decent night.Pepper and Bruce have been trying to introduce Steve to all kinds of food when he’s in town so tonight is Egyptian.They eat, everyone laughs and talks, Darcy stays close to Clint. She gets through it all with a smile but by the time she’s back in the car she collapses into his side and lets him direct Dawes and Shaw to take them home.

“You okay baby girl?” Clint whispers into her temple, his fingers playing with the hair at the back of her neck.The shaggy locks have finally grown out into a long pixie and he’s taken to tugging at it in a way that makes her toes curl anytime she’s within reach.

“Mmhmm.” Darcy hums and turns her face to press her nose against the soft leather of the jacket over his chest. “Tired.” She finally gets out and his fingers increase their pressure against her scalp.

“Does that mean I’m carrying all these bags upstairs on my own?” He teases and Darcy nods without looking up. “Am I going to have to carry you up too?”

“Depends on if you want to get lucky.” She whispers into his chest and she can feel his laugh through her whole body.

He doesn’t carry her upstairs, he still gets lucky. 

**~0~**

A week later finds Darcy wearing old jeans and flannel as they turn off the main road in Clint’s beat up truck to arrive at the farm.Darcy feels like she’s been breathing easier ever since they landed in Iowa. There’s no security detail here, no crowds, no pressure.Just her and Clint for two weeks.Only Jane knows where they actually are, Darcy only told Pepper and Tony they were going away and she’d be in touch.She’d scanned all her luggage for trackers just in case. 

“So this is it.” Clint says throwing the truck into park and Darcy takes in the property.It’s an classic old farmhouse, with a second story, a deep porch, and shutters next to all the windows.The barn set off to the side, is faded red and both the doors are open to reveal the empty insides.“It needs some work.” He admits and Darcy turns to watch him. 

“It’s beautiful.” She says and his cheeks bloom with color.

“It’s not much Darce, I know that.”He rubs a hand down his face. “No one knows where it is though which means it’s safe.”This was the point.To give her safe house that’s truly off the grid just in case. 

“Give me a tour?” She asks with a smile and he nods. 

“Sure.” He agrees easily already getting out of the truck. 

The tour is adorable.Apparently being back in a flyover state means Clint’s accent comes out to play and Darcy loves following him through the house while he points out all the changes he wants to make to fix it up. Out in the barn the impracticality of Darcy’s boots becomes obvious as she tries to carefully step through old hay and around holes in the floor boards. 

“I thought you said there were animals?” Darcy asks peering around the dim barn.It’s a big open space and she can see dust floating in the afternoon light. 

“There are chickens around here somewhere.” Clint says absently, peering into an empty stall.

“Can we get an alpaca?” Darcy asks coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his chest. 

“An alpaca?” That gets his attention.

“They seem friendly in the YouTube videos and they’re cute.” Darcy says into his flannel covered back. 

“Someone would have to take care of it when we’re not here.” He says and Darcy nods in agreement.

“Yes. We’d need a farmhand.”

“A farmhand huh?” He turns in her arms to stare down at her.“Why do I sense I’m not going to like where this is going?”

“I mean, everything I know about farms is from terrible Hallmark movies and bodice ripper novels.There’s always a hot farmhand.” Darcy teases.

“And you think this farm needs a hot farmhand?”

“To care for Richard.” Darcy agrees her smile getting wider.

“Who is Richard?” Clint asks.

“The alpaca.” Darcy says straight faced and Clint snorts. 

“What if I wanted to be your hot farmhand?” He asks and his hands slide down her waist to grip at her ass. 

“That would work.” She agrees easily, bouncing up on her toes to put herself more at eye level. “You’ll need a hat.”

“I have a hat.” He says and his voice is rough. 

“If the movies and romance novels are to be believed you’ll also have to take me in a manly fashion in a pile of hay.” She says right up against his lips. 

“In a manly fashion huh? With hay?” His lips press softly against hers and he pulls her even closer, sliding his hands into the back pockets on her jeans.“How about we start with the bed and work up to the hay?”

“Okay cowboy.” Darcy says and she gives a little jump to wrap her legs around his trim waist, his hands shift to support her easily.“Take me to bed then.” He laughs and carries her back to the house. 

The old bed is not meant for an active sex life.A fact they discover while Clint is fucking her into the mattress when, with a tremendous crack, the bottom left corner slams to the floor.Clint curses, Darcy laughs and then she moans low in her throat when he starts to move again. After two very nice orgasms Darcy lays in the afterglow on the lopsided bed tracing fingers down Clint’s sweaty back.

“So is this part of the farm movies?” Clint asks turning his head to press a wet kiss to her shoulder.

“No,” she says around a low laugh, “but it’s a trope in some movies and it was very nice in real life.”

“You liked that?” He teases, rolling until he’s braced half over her.His face presses into the valley between her breasts. “You want to see if we can break the other corner?”

“Ye—ahh.” The word is cut off when he wraps his lips around her nipple and Darcy arches up into him. 

“Good.” He says around his mouthful and she loses her words for a little while longer. 

Hours later she wakes up alone in the dark and her throat goes instantly tight.It’s quiet in the country, without another house for miles, the air is heavy in the bedroom and Darcy tries to ground herself, pressing her palms into the soft sheets.It doesn’t work, the room is too black and the perspective is too close to her time in the cell with the mattress dragged off the broken bed onto the floor. 

“Nghn,” She tries to call for Clint but she can’t get his name out around the block in her throat.She knows where she is.She knows she’s not back in that cold cell but it doesn’t matter.She can feel the walls closing in. She gasps for breath, her hands searching for anything in the dark of the room to help. 

Her fingers hit against a lamp Clint put down on the floor before they went to sleep and she tries to tug the cord with shaking fingers.Her hands are numb with panic and she ends up knocking it over, the old ceramic cracks with a sharp sound, and Darcy lets out a low sob.The panic is full blown now and she can hear a pounding from outside the room that has her scrambling for something to defend herself among the broken shards of the lamp.

“Darce!” The light that accompanies her name is almost blinding and Darcy lets out a low whine as Clint scrambles into the bedding next to her.“Jesus, breathe baby.Breathe for me.” Clint cups her face in one hand as he pulls her hand away from the broken lamp with the other. She takes a deep shuddering breath. “Are you bleeding?” Clint asks his eyes laser focused on her hand.

Darcy stares down at the hand Clint is holding, a slash across her palm sluggishly pumping out bright red blood.“I don’t—“ She starts and then stops.She doesn’t know what happened.It was too dark and she was alone.The panic is still hovering just outside the edges of her awareness and she hates herself for the weakness.She’s pulled from the self loathing and embarrassment as Clint starts wrapping a corner of the bed sheets around her palm his eyes scanning her for further injuries. 

“Fuck. I’m so sorry Darcy I just went to get a glass of water.I didn’t think you’d wake up.Breathe for me.” Clint is rambling and Darcy watches him with wide eyes as he fumbles around trying to put pressure on her injury and keep a hand on her at all times. 

She hates herself.She hates that she can’t manage to be alone in a dark room.She hates that he can’t even get a fucking glass of water without her panicking so badly she hurts herself in confusion.She lets out a shuddering breath and she feels his fingers tighten on the back of her neck.She’s gone from incredibly independent to almost useless and she hates it. 

“I’m okay.” She gasps out and tries to pull her injured hand from his grasp.“Do we have a first aid kit?”

“Christ.” Clint drops his head to her shoulder. “Yes, I’ll go —“ he trails off, “will you be okay while I go get it?” Will she be okay while he goes to get it.She has no idea honestly. 

“Yes.” She says out loud but he seems to see something in her face that gives her away. 

“No you won’t.” He says quietly and Darcy ducks her head to hide. “It’s okay.Come on.” He’s already pulling her up off the bed and holding her tight against his side on trembling legs.“You want me to carry you?”

“I’ll walk.” She says and her voice is steadier than she thought possible considering.

He leads her downstairs trailing the sheets still wrapped around her hand behind them and into the kitchen. He helps her jump up to sit on the edge of the butcher block counter before he hunts for the first aid kit.She works on evening out her breathing while she tracks him ripping through cabinets until he comes up with a metal kit with a big Red Cross on it.

There’s silence as he carefully unwraps the sheet to reveal the cut. It’s not deep but it covers the width of her palm, at least the edges are clean.Clint’s careful as he cleans it out, applies antiseptic, and then wraps it in gauze before tying it off.Then she waits patiently while he fills up two glasses of water and hands one to her. 

“Thank you.” She says quietly staring down at the bright white bandage. 

“I should have thought—“

“I’m so sor—“

They try to talk over each other and Clint lets out a low sigh before stepping up to stand between her legs.“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He says, “It’s been months since you’ve had an issue in the dark but I should have realized being in a new place can bring things up.”

“I know that.” Darcy says tonelessly. She does know that.Her therapist warned her about it in their last appointment.Darcy assumed she’d be special and she could avoid the pitfalls of every other PTSD sufferer on the planet.She’s an idiot.“I broke your lamp.” She says out loud and Clint lets out a huff.

“Hated it.Was going to ask you to help me pick out a new one anyways.”He slides both his hands up to cup her face.“You know this is okay right? You understand that this is going to happen sometimes and that’s okay and I love you right?” It’s exactly what she needs to hear and didn’t expect him to say.She can feel the tears hot behind her eyes.

“I just want to be better.” She whispers, “Or I want it to have never happened. I’m so tired of being scared.”The last part comes out with a sniffle. “I just want to be normal again.I want to want to go shopping and be excited about team dinners.I don’t want to need Dawes or Shaw or a security team.” She’s crying giant tears by the end of it and Clint just pulls her against his chest, rubbing big circles on her back.

“I know baby girl. I know.”His voice is low and reassuring and Darcy tangles the fingers of her good hand in the soft cotton of his t-shirt. “It’s going to get better.It’s already getting better. It just takes time.” 

“We’re literally here because I’m a disaster and you wanted me to have a safe house to hide.” Darcy says into his chest and he lets out a sigh.

“We’re here because I wanted to make sure you knew you had somewhere you could go to be safe.” He corrects, “You know this isn’t technically a safe house right?” 

Darcy looks up at him, “What do you mean?” A safe house is exactly what she thought this was, where else would Clint have gotten a farm except for some kind of old off the books cover.

“This is my house,” Clint says and when he sees the confusion still in her eyes he continues, “As in my childhood home where I grew up that I kept off the SHIELD records. It’s not a safe house.It’s a house I own that is very safe.” 

Darcy feels her throat get tight again but for a completely different reason.“This is your house.” She repeats back to him. “The house you grew up in.” She looks around the pale yellow kitchen with new eyes. “You brought me to your childhood home because it’s secret and safe.”

“Yes.” Clint agrees and he’s watching her with wary eyes.“Is that okay?”

“Yes.” She breathes out and then, “Yes, very okay.So on the tour when you pointed out the climbing tree...”

“I meant the tree I used to climb when I was a little kid.” Clint says. 

“And the room at the end of the hall with the twin beds?”

“Is the room Barney and I used to share.” He says with a small nod.“Before, well you know.”

Darcy does know.He’d told her enough of it over the years, his father, Barney, the accident that left them orphaned and in foster care, then the circus.She knows enough to know that this house has to hold a very mixed bag of memories for him and suddenly his absence from the bed when she woke up takes on a whole new possible meaning. 

“Are you okay?” She asks anxious now for different reasons, “I mean being here...”

“Eh,” Clint says his eyes looking anywhere but at her, “for the most part. It’s been a long time since I spent time here but I was kind of hoping we could use this trip to make this place, well, ours.”

“Ours?” Darcy says dumbly as her brain scrambles to keep up with everything that’s happened in the last few minutes.

“Yeah,” he has a hopeful look on his face, “you know, paint and some new furniture and fix it up a bit so we have a place away from everything for when we need it. Just ours.”

“That’s safe.” Darcy clarifies and she can see it now.Looking around, she can already see how cute the place would be with a few updates and how it could be their secret place to run to when they need it. 

“Yes.” Clint agrees. 

“Okay.” She says reaching up to pull his face to hers. “I love you.” 

“Love you too Darcy-girl. Very much.”He presses a warm kiss to her lips, “You think you can go back to sleep or do you want me to make coffee?”

Darcy barely has to think.“Coffee. If we’re going to spend the trip fixing this place up I need another tour.”

His laugh fills the kitchen.“Of course you do. Coffee it is.”

**~0~**

Considering the size of the surrounding towns Darcy ends up impressed by the speed at which home improvement supplies and furniture can be acquired. Their second day in Iowa finds them taking the truck into the nearest big town for a new bed frame, paint, a new lamp, and some general supplies. 

They come home with more than expected and even more on order.The middle of the night tour took much longer than the first and was a great distraction for Darcy.Clint seemed more than content to let her do what she wanted with the house in terms of updates although she’s determined to save some key elements from his desire to humor her. 

The kitchen for example is staying yellow although getting a new coat of paint.The rest of the rooms are getting new paint too, Darcy is impressed with their ability to agree on colors.The only debate was actually about the new couch and the coffee maker.Darcy won the coffee maker debate and was getting her attached espresso maker.Clint won the couch debate and their new leather monstrosity complete with cup holders in the arm rests would arrive in three days. 

“But what are you going to put in the cup holders?” Darcy asks for the tenth time since they’d left the furniture store. 

Clint grunts as he grabs at the last of the grocery bags from the back of the truck.“Beer.”

“Beer.” She mimics back his rough drawl. 

“Yes and maybe soda or iced tea. I don’t know Darce, I just liked the couch.”He starts up the porch steps and she follows him holding the paper bag with their eggs in it.

“I mean it was a good compromise.You get the couch and I get the fancy coffee maker.”She dances around him as he drops bags on the counter.

“I still don’t believe you’ll use that espresso maker. I’ve never seen you make a latte at home.” He’s already ducking down to start loading things into the fridge and she helps, organizing bread and cans into cabinets.

“That’s because I’m usually within walking distance of a coffee shop.It’s like a 45 minute drive to Starbucks here.”She organizes all the ground coffee in an upper cabinet and turns to give him a look.“I bet before the end of the week I can get you to make me a latte.” 

Clint stops what he’s doing to look up at her with a lopsided smile.“I don’t doubt that darlin’.Not much I wouldn’t do for you.” His eyes go soft and Darcy feels like she’s going to melt. 

“You’re a sap.” She says and his eyes roll before he goes back to loading cheese into the fridge.“Love you though.” 

“Love you too.” He says closing the fridge and standing up.“What do you want to do first, paint or put together the bed?”

“Bed.” Darcy says without needing to think.“I want a nap.” 

Clint does laugh at that, stepping into her space.“Okay. Bed, nap, then paint?” He asks then presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Deal.” She agrees. 

The new bed helps her sleep, the new lamps help more. Pretty matching bedside lamps with dimmer dials and clappers carefully installed between them and wall.The clappers were Clint’s idea and as much as Darcy teased him at the store she really appreciates his thoughtfulness.The nap was wonderful and now Clint is painting the living room while Darcy mostly pretends to paint in the kitchen, really she’s on the phone with Jane.

“Will the clapper lights come on during sex?” Jane asks thoughtfully and Darcy snorts a laugh, dipping her brush into the paint.

“I don’t know.” Darcy admits, “Do you mean like if there’s a clapping noise from the thrusting?”

“Or if there’s spanking.” Jane muses. 

The giggle the escapes Darcy at that is not even remotely dignified. “Is there something you need to tell me Janie?”

“No,” Jane says, “I’m just postulating. How’s the rest of the undisclosed location?”

“It’s cute.” Darcy makes a face at a loose hair from the paintbrush that has made it’s way onto the wall. “Definitely secure.”

“That’s the point right?” Jane asks and Darcy can tell she finally has the astrophysicist’s complete attention. For all that Darcy told Jane about the farm she didn’t reveal the location and she won’t tell her that it’s Clint’s childhood home.Some things really are a secret.

“Yes, that is the point.” Darcy agrees.“Do you think a couch should have cup holders?”

“Cup holders?” Jane sounds confused. “Is the couch in a movie theatre?”

“Oh my god, that’s what I said!” Darcy whisper shouts into the phone.

“But seriously, why cup holders?” Jane replies.

“He says he needs them.” Darcy shrugs swiping more paint on to the wall.

“I do need them.” Clint says and Darcy spins to find her favorite archer leaning in the door to the kitchen shirtless, wiping his hands off on a rag. 

“I gotta go Janie.” Darcy says into the phone, her eyes never leaving the flex of Clint’s shoulder muscles as he leans into the wall.

“He’s there isn’t he?” Jane accuses, “I’m guessing he’s all hot and painty.” 

Darcy huffs another laugh, “Yeah, he definitely is.”

“Fine. Call me later.” Jane says, “Ooh, let me know if the lights come on!”

“Bye Jane.” Darcy deadpans before tapping the red button and dropping the phone. “How’s the living room?” She asks Clint.

“More neutral than is used to be. How’s Jane?” Clint comes the rest of the way into the kitchen as he talks eyeing her progress so far.“I see the talking didn’t inspire faster painting.”

“I have two weeks, it’ll get done.” She drops the paintbrush into the tray and smiles up at him, “Or I’ll convince you to finish it for me.”

“I’m sure, and Jane.” He prompts, tugging open the fridge to pull out two beers.

“She’s good.Had interesting questions about our new lamps.” Darcy says lightly.

Clint hums and pops the top on the beers before handing one off to her. “What kind of interesting questions?”

“She asked if the clappers would respond to the sound of sex or spanking.” 

Clint sprays his sip of beer over the counters and then coughs “What?!”

“She asked if the sound of skin slapping during sex would set off the clappers you put on the lamps.” Darcy repeats herself wiping at the residual beer spray over one of her cheeks.

“Jesus she’s too curious for her own good.” Clint mutters and then louder, “Do you want to find out?”

“Yes,” Darcy says her eyes still glued to his bare pecs.

“Before or after dinner?” Clint asks and when she glances up to his face there’s a knowing look in his eyes.

“Befo—“ She doesn’t even get to finish the word before she’s up and over his shoulder, his muscles flexing as he heads for the stairs. 

**~0~**

“Feet shoulder width apart. Good. Don’t lock your elbows, exhale as you squeeze the trigger.”

The gun is loud when it fires and Darcy can feel the recoil all the way to her toes. She doesn’t mind guns, in fact, before the incident at the tower she often enjoyed shooting lessons with Clint.They were a great excuse to get him to press up behind her to correct her stance, she liked how powerful she felt when she was holding one, she liked the weight of them in her hands.Now though all Darcy can see at the end of the barrel is Jane’s terrified face and Ben Mathers’ nasty smile. 

“You’re six inches off center.” Clint says from just over her left shoulder.“I can’t tell if it’s the recoil or your stance. Try that other grip I showed you and fire again.”

“You do understand I’m not Hawkeye, you’re Hawkeye right?” Darcy doesn’t even try to keep the sarcasm from her voice as she throws him a look over one shoulder.“Why don’t you teach me how to fire the bow?” She drops the gun to hang at her side and looks at the compound bow balanced on a tree stump nearby.

“That bow has a 95 pound draw weight, you wouldn’t come close to pulling the string back.” Clint presses up against her back and one of his hands presses flat against her stomach. 

“I know for a fact I’ve fired that bow before.” Darcy says with as much attitude as she can. “Naked.” She tacks on just to be a brat.

“If I remember correctly,” Clint’s voice is a rasp directly in her ear, “I drew that bow while you held it and there wasn’t an arrow involved but I do remember the naked part very clearly.” He slides the hand up her stomach to cup one breast for emphasis.

“That’s true,” Darcy turns in his arms to drape her arms around his neck, one hand still loosely holding the gun, “why didn’t I get to use an arrow again?”

“Dangerous,” Clint says against her mouth, “far too dangerous when naked. Could lose an eye or a nipple.”

“A nipple?” Darcy asks raising an eyebrow in question.

“Yep.” Clint agrees easily. “Can’t have that can we?”

“I suppose not.” She admits around a smile before pressing her lips against his.“I am currently dressed though,” she waves a hand down to emphasize her lose sundress, “and I want to shoot the bow.” She really does too. 

She’s watched him shoot it a thousand times and the way his shoulder muscles bunch is mouthwatering. Speaking of mouthwatering, Clint is making a valiant effort to distract her with his lips.He’s reached up to tangle fingers in her hair and he’s licking into her mouth like a man dying. 

Darcy is almost distracted enough to suggest they head back to the house, or maybe the much closer barn when Clint finally breaks the kiss to press his lips against her cheek and then her forehead. “You still want to shoot the bow don’t you?”

Darcy doesn’t even have to think, “Yes. I really want to shoot the bow.” Clint’s sigh goes through his whole body.

“Okay.” He sounds amused and a little resigned. “You realize you are physically incapable of actually shooting it right?”

“That’s incredibly sexist,” Darcy scolds, already handing off the pistol so she can make grabby hands at the slick compound bow, it’s shiny purple accents glinting in the afternoon sun.

“It’s not because you’re a woman.” Clint argues as he puts the gun back into it’s case and picks up the bow, checking it over with a careful eye.

“It’s because I’m so pretty?” She asks bouncing on her toes.

“No arguments here darlin’ but it’s more because you had trouble carrying two 12 pound paint cans two days ago.” He pulls the bow string back effortlessly as he speaks and Darcy wishes he was shirtless.

“Those paint cans weigh way more than 12 pounds.” She pouts and Clint turns to offer her the purple and graphite weapon. It’s got some heft to it but it’s perfectly balanced when she holds it with one hand on the grip. 

“Do you remember how to hold it?” Clint asks as he steps up behind her to press himself along her back. “One hand here,” His arms come around her to guide her grip and then he slides his palms down her sides to shift her hips, “widen your stance and keep your shoulders straight.”He’s talking directly into her throat now and Darcy can feel a bulge against her lower back.This is foreplay for him and they both know it.

“This isn’t how you stand when you shoot it.” She teases back, trying to turn herself and hunch to mimic his usual pose. There’s the added benefit that it pushes her hips right into his crotch.

Clint lets out a rush of air against her skin, “I learned how to shoot in a circus Darce, I have terrible form. You don’t want to do it like I do.”He’s trailing fingers down her arm, tangling their fingers and guiding her hand up to hold the bow string.One of his hands disappears and comes back with an arrow from the quiver on his thigh. “There’s a good girl, first and second finger on the string, balance the tip against — you remember from last time.” He says the last part into her cheek and Darcy feels warm at the praise.

“You’re a good teacher.” She agrees and then ignores his laugh in response.

“You want to try and draw it without me?” He asks and Darcy shakes her head no.She wants whatever is going to keep him this close, pressed up against her like he is as long as possible. 

“I think I definitely need your help.” She gets out and she can’t help how she sounds just a little breathless.His heat at her back, his breath against her temple, the low timber of his voice, it’s all adding up to a teasing dampness between her legs. 

“Anything you need baby girl,” He agrees into her hair and they both know he’s not talking about the shooting anymore.“Hold steady.”One of his hands trails down low to brush her bare thigh at the hem of her sundress and the feeling of the smooth leather of his arm guard against her skin sends a shiver through her.“You have to use your core.” He says roughly and the hand on her thigh starts to slide back up under the dress until his palm is pressed flat on the sensitive skin of her stomach.

“And then draw?” She asks quietly and she can feel his heart hammering in his chest against her back. 

“And then draw,” he agrees and the arm he still has braced up with hers at the bow string starts to pull back guiding her own movement.He’s doing all the work and Darcy can feel the bunch and strain of his bicep along her own.His breath is hot and heavy just behind her ear and she presses her hips back again to bump into his denim constrained erection. 

“And release?” She asks and she can’t bring herself to feel any shame about how low and sultry her voice sounds.

“Yes.” Clint breathes out against her cheek and she feels his fingers loose on the arrow.Darcy has time to hear the twang of the string, feel the whoosh of the shaft as it flies from their combined grips, but then Clint’s mouth is latched onto the skin of her throat and all of her senses zero in on him.

She still has the lightweight bow gripped in one hand as Clint spins her in his arms.The hand on her stomach sliding around to rest low on her back still under her dress, his other hand coming up to cup the base of her skull as he his mouth finds hers.He’s rough with her, his teeth nipping at her lips, his tongue pressing into her mouth. 

Darcy clings to him with her free hand and kisses him back trying to find a gap in his need to get control of the situation.“What,” she tries to ask between kisses, “do I do with the bow?” Clint growls into her mouth and the hand on her back pulls her even tighter against his chest.

“Drop it.” He mutters when he breaks away to start trailing open mouthed kisses down her neck. 

“Drop it?” She asks and when he hums his assent she continues, “This thing cost more than my first car.” 

The reminder seems to pull him up short and he leans back so she can see his face, eyes dilated with need.“I’m trying to take you in a manly fashion here Darce.”

“I’m not objecting to the taking. I’m just saying we probably shouldn’t throw around $30,000 compound bows custom built by Tony Stark in the process.” 

Clint lets out a low breath and drops his forehead to her shoulder.“Fine.” He presses his hips forward into hers to make his desire very evident. “We will put the weapons away and then I’m going to fuck you until you can’t walk, yes?”

“Yes.” Darcy agrees instantly.She definitely wants that. 

The gathering up of the weapons from their makeshift shooting range is a mess of trailing hands and interruptions for kissing.The walk to the barn takes longer than it should because Clint keeps pressing up against her back to run his hands over her chest and up her thighs.Loading everything back into the hidden compartment at the back of one of the empty horse stalls is a test of patience as Darcy kneels behind Clint, her hands running up under his shirt to tease at his warm skin while he works. 

She watches with a careful eye as he clips the last piece of equipment into place.Still she’s not prepared for the graceful way he turns to practically tackle her onto the smooth boards of the barn floor.Her landing padded by the fresh hay he’d spread the day before and one of his hands behind her head.

“Is this why we _had_ to get hay yesterday?” Darcy mutters against his lips and she can feel his laugh through her whole body. 

“Maybe.” He admits into her collarbone before sucking at the skin under his mouth, his fingers already trailing up her thighs under the dress. 

“You,” Darcy gasps out, “bought hay so we could have sex on it?” The sentence ends on a low moan as his mouth dips down to bite at a nipple through her thin dress and bra.

“You,” Clint says pulling away to sit back on his heels between her legs, his fingers tugging at her panties, trailing them down her legs until he gets them off and looks back up at her with a proud expression. “Demanded to be taken in a manly fashion with hay our first day here.I’m just trying to help with the fantasy.”

Darcy snorts, reaching for him with both hands. “You just want to prove we don’t need a farmhand.” She teases and his smile turns into a pout but he drops back down to brace over her anyways.

“I’ll show you a farmhand.” He says against her mouth before he kisses her again and Darcy buries her fingers in his short hair scratching at his scalp until he groans into her mouth. 

It’s warm in the barn and Darcy wastes no time tugging at his shirt pulling it up his back until they have to break the kiss so she can get it off.She runs her hands over his shoulders, enjoying the bunch and stretch of muscles under tawny skin.Clint sucks roughly at the skin of her neck and his hands grip at her thighs, pulling her legs up and over his hips.

“What about this makes it manly?” Darcy gasps out, her fingers tight on his biceps. His mouth is trailing down her chest until he hits the low cut edge of her dress.

He presses his forehead into her collarbone and speaks into the swell of her breasts, “I thought maybe it was the fucking,” his accent is out to play turning every word into a low drawl, “but if you need it a little rougher by all means.” 

It’s all the warning she gets before he sits up and the hands on her thighs grip hard and force her over and onto her stomach.Darcy grunts at the roughness of the move, her hands scrambling in the lose hay on the floor for traction as he pulls her up on to her knees. He presses his hips forward and Darcy can feel him hard against her ass through his jeans, she presses back with no shame.

“Is this what you need Darcy?” His voice is a low commanding growl and a shiver runs through her.She loves when he gets like this. “Answer me.” He demands with a squeeze to her hips.

“Yes,” she gasps out. 

“Yeah it is.” He agrees before pulling her up so she’s kneeling with her back to him.Ignoring her frustrated groan, he uses the new position to pull off her dress, leaving her in just the plain cotton bra she’d put on that morning.His hands slide around to cup her breasts and Darcy can’t help the way she arches forward to fill his palms, silently begging him to do more. 

His mouth latches onto the side of her neck and she can feel a familiar ache starting to build low in her stomach.He’s had her wound up since he put his arms around her while they were shooting and she’s ready for the main event. His clever fingers dip into the cup of her bra and pinch at her nipples and the sensation sends sparks radiating out into every limb.

“I know what you need.” Clint says, his voice gravel against the skin of her throat.His fingers twist at her nipples and Darcy arches back into him to lean against his firm chest.He does know, he’s always known what she needs.“You need a distraction.” Yes. She needs a distraction.“Do you want me to distract you Darcy? You want me to fuck you until you can’t think straight? Remind you who you belong to?” 

She makes a strangled noise in the back of her throat. This is definitely not a scene she expected to play out in a barn.The thought of how they’re outside, exposed, hits her in the stomach and she feels her cheeks grow hot at the rush of wetness it causes between her legs.Clint seems to realize something is going on, one hand moves down from her chest to the neatly trimmed thatch of curls between her thighs and Darcy almost melts into the low moan he lets out when he finds her soaked.

“All this for me?” He asks softly and Darcy drops her head to hide her face.“Oh no baby girl.” Clint abandons her breasts with the other hand to grip her chin roughly pulling her face up and forcing her head back against his shoulder.His fingers expertly dig in right over her carotid, where they make her feel just a little light headed. “Is it the barn?” He asks and Darcy makes a low noise.

“Outside?” He tries again, Darcy’s hips jerk forward into the hand still between her thighs teasing at wet and swollen flesh. There’s a momentary pause and Darcy assumes he’s adjusting to the new and very unexpected idea that she likes being fucked outdoors.“Well fuck.” He says and she knows she’s not imagining the way his voice is just a little more strained than it was before. “Damn, really?” He asks as he slides two blunt fingers deep into her cunt. 

“Yes,” Darcy is quickly sinking into a floaty headspace where she just knows she’ll agree to anything he asks.Her breasts feel heavy with the need to be touched, her nipples tight even in the warmth of the barn.His fingers between her legs are still buried deep and Darcy lets out another needy whine when he curls them to push at her g-spot. 

“Christ Darcy. You drive me crazy.”He’s talking directly into her ear, his voice raspy and low with need. “Just when I think I’ve figured out all the ways you can turn me on you find something else.” He pushes his hips forward so she can feel the proof of his words against her ass. 

“Please.” She says, trying to lean herself forward again.She wants to be back on her hands and knees.She wants him to grip her hips and the back of her neck and fuck up into her hard. She wants him to fill her up and drive all other thoughts from her head. 

“Please what Darcy?” He squeezes her throat a little tighter on the question and Darcy groans.

“Fuck me.” The words are barely out of her mouth before he’s pulling his fingers free and pushing her back down to all fours.Darcy groans out her relief against the hay strewn floor, her hands braced as she listens to the soft whir of his zipper going down and then he’s got a hand on the back of her neck bracing himself. 

“You want this?” He checks again just to be sure but she can already feel the blunt head of his cock swiping through her wet folds.The noise she makes isn’t a word so much a groan of assent but it’s enough.

He enters her in one rough slide and she can feel the soft denim of his jeans bunched around his thighs as he sinks in to the hilt.Her back arches involuntarily and his hand around her neck tightens to keep her place against the stretch of his cock buried in her.“Good girl.” He says before he starts a punishing rhythm.His hips snapping against hers with force and Darcy scrambles to brace herself against the onslaught.

All the soft playfulness is gone and she revels in it.Clint is rough.Rough in a way he hasn’t been in months.One hand is gripping her hip hard enough to leave a bruise, the other is wrapped around the back of her neck possessively and he’s hitting her cervix on every brutal forward thrust.Darcy feels powerless in his grip and while there’s a small faraway part of her mind that fights the feeling, the rest of her leans into it.

She stops trying to hold herself up, just drops to her forearms on the old barn floor.Hay scratches at her cheek and her chest and she arches her back trying to get more of that friction against her aching nipples.She knows the moment Clint realizes what’s going on because he lets out a low chuckle and then the hand on her neck is suddenly pressing between her shoulder blades.Forcing her upper half flat against the floor in a way that rubs her nipples into the rough wood with each powerful jerk of his hips. 

He keeps it up for several long minutes and Darcy can feel her own release building when he stills. Her aggravated groan is enough to pull another low laugh from him. “Impatient girl.” He chides and Darcy ignores the warning in his voice, pressing her hips back to feel the slide of him inside her just one more time. The sting of his palm on her ass jerks her back into stillness and tears a gasp from her throat.She’s so frustrated she can taste it.

“You remember the first time we did this?” He asks as he uses his knees to push hers wider, lowering her hips so he’s entering her with less depth but more delicious friction. The new angle spreads a wicked heat through Darcy and she’s settling in to enjoy the burn when he speaks again, “Do you remember Darcy?”. 

“Mmhmm,” She agrees fighting the urge to push back against him again.She does remember.The way he’d laid her down, made her whine and beg.The way he’d told her she was his, the way she’d agreed with everything she had.

“I remember too.” Clint says low and Darcy feels a swell of pride at how wrecked he sounds. She knows what he looks like when his voice is like that, eyes blown dark with lust, face red with exertion, jaw clenched to keep his control. It sends another wave of heat through her. “I remember how prettily you begged for my cock.” He says, still moving in her slow and shallow, a long teasing slide. “I remember what a good girl you were, how you told me you were mine.” He punctuates the last word with a rough thrust and Darcy lets out a groan of need. “Are you still mine Darcy?”

“Yes,” she agrees readily, “always yours. Always. Yours. Please.”

“Mine.” Clint agrees and then he picks up speed, moving in her with punishing force. Darcy goes limp for him, letting his hands guide her exactly the way he wants. “All mine gorgeous girl. Spread out for me so pretty where anyone could see. So good the way you take anything I give you.”The string of praise and dirty talk is getting mindless but Darcy doesn’t care.She’s so deep in her own need for release. She’s desperate for his fingers on her clit, she can feel her orgasm starting to build low in her stomach but she needs more to get there.He knows that.She knows he knows that.

She finally shifts to free up a hand to help herself along, but Clint stops her before she’s even gotten close.His calloused fingers scratch against the inside of her wrist as he bends her arm to lay bent across her back, using it for leverage to push into her that much harder.“You want to come for me Darcy?” He sounds raw and Darcy lets out another wordless groan in response.

She’s not sure she can form words at this point.Too wrapped up in the feel of his body in hers, his hands on her skin, his voice filling her ears.She’s riding the edge, her body clenching around his length in warning but she can’t get there. 

Clint bends low over her back, bracing himself with one arm near her head. He’s breathing heavy and Darcy can feel every pant all the way to her core.His mouth latches on to the delicate skin behind her ear sucking hard and Darcy bucks under him until he uses his other arm around her waist to keep her still.Blunt finger slide down find her clit, teasing at the swollen flesh as he keeps up his pace inside her.

“Come for me gorgeous girl. Come on.”His fingers rub tight little circles and Darcy is barely hanging on. “Come on Darcy, I can feel it.” He never lets up and she loves the slide of his sweat slick chest against her back as he moves in her. “So tight for me. Such a good girl.Come for me.”His fingers press just a little harder, sliding along the side of her clit and then he bites down on the back of her neck and Darcy’s whole world whites out. 

Her body goes tight, a wordless cry ripped from her throat and she feels herself clenching around Clint’s cock relentlessly.In the aftermath she goes boneless, Clint is panting heavy in her ear and his pace starts to stutter in the face of her body’s tight clutch.She turns her head the few inches it takes to find his mouth and kisses him sloppily.Sucking at his bottom lip until he growls into her mouth, his hips jerking into her once, twice more before she feels the rush of liquid heat that accompanies his own release. 

His arm around her middle tightens and he pulls her up with him until she’s spread over his thighs, his cock still buried deep inside her.She leans her head back on his shoulder turning to rub her face in his sweaty neck.“Love you.” She slurs and he slides a lazy hand up her stomach a cup a breast. 

“Love you too Darce.” He squeezes her middle and she luxuriates in the words and his body against hers.“Was sex in the hay everything you hoped it would be?” He teases and Darcy smiles wide, lolling her head to the side to look him in the eye.

“Ten out of ten, would do again.” She teases right back.

“Come on,” he says, already shifting her weight in his arms to gather her up against his chest bridal style.It’s an impressive show of strength as he stands in one fluid motion. Darcy feels a momentary pang for the loss of him and then, “Gonna take you inside and get us cleaned up, and make you dinner.”

“I’m naked.” Darcy says flatly as they leave the cover of the barn.“I’m naked in the front yard.”

“Technically, I’m also mostly naked in the front yard.” Clint points out cheerfully. “Also also the nearest neighbor is at least ten miles away.I think we’re okay to make it to the house.” 

Darcy just hums and tucks her face into his neck for the walk. 

**~0~**

They’ve been at the farm for ten days when the sound of a strangled whine wakes Darcy in the dead of night.She is instantly on alert, snapping her fingers to turn on the bedside lamps.Clint is on his back, eyes still closed in sleep but his hands are white knuckled in the sheets. She’s careful in her movements, they’ve been here before and Darcy has learned the hard way that waking him up wrong can end poorly.

She still remembers his first nightmare in her bed, she’d tried to wake her up with a hand on his shoulder and she’d ended up on her back with hand around her neck for her troubles.He’d been furious after he came back to himself, mostly because he’d warned her not to touch him, not to wake him.Now Darcy follows the rules, don’t move, don’t touch him, flash the lights until he wakes up. 

Another low groan comes from his throat and Darcy snaps her fingers in a steady rhythm to make the bedside lamps flash.His head thrashes from side to side and Darcy fights the urge to wipe the sweat dark hair off his forehead.She hates this, she hates the helpless feeling that comes with these moments of his pain. 

“Stop.” Clint’s voice is deep, slurred with sleep and Darcy bites at her lip, continuing to snap her fingers for the lights.He’s not awake yet. “Please no.”It’s a plea from someone in anguish, “I’ll be good. Please I’ll be good.” Darcy’s fingers catch mid snap.This is new, this is not the usual mission flashback sleep talking.“Don’t!” Clint’s hands rip from the sheets to protect his head from a blow that’s already come and gone.

“Oh baby.” Darcy whispers softly.She catches her hand inches from his arm, desperate to take away the pain.She knows what this is. This isn’t a from an op, this is his childhood.This is a memory of what happened in this house more than 25 years ago and Darcy’s chest aches with it. She’s trying to decide if she should get out of the bed and shake the frame to wake him when he suddenly sucks in a shuddering breath and sits straight up, his hands twisted in soft cotton. 

“Fuck. Fuck.”

“It’s okay. Take a breath, deep breath Clint.” Darcy knows he can’t hear her but his head turns wildly and he freezes when he sees her there.His mouth is open wide franticly sucking in air, his cheeks wet with tears. “Come here.” She says and she’s not sure if he reads her lips or her face but he collapses forward into her lap, pressing his head into her stomach.

Darcy buries her fingers in his hair, clutching him close.She bends low over his back, whispering nonsense into his hair whether he can hear her or not.“You’re okay. It’s okay. Just breathe for me baby. You’re so good, everything is fine.” He’s taking deep breaths, his face still buried against her middle, his hands twisted up in the loose fabric of her shirt.

“I’m sorry. So sorry.” He’s speaking into her lap and Darcy pets at his hair and his back, sliding her hands over the muscles of his shoulders and arms.She waits until his breathing is almost even before pushing at his shoulders to try and get him to sit up, to look at her.

“Water?” She signs to him as soon as he’s looking and he shakes his head no. “What then?” She asks. “Tell me how to help.”She make sure he’s watching her hands as she signs and he sighs before pulling her down to curl up with him under the covers again.

“He used to hit her.” It’s not new information but it still breaks Darcy’s heart. “He used to hit us too. It was like a compulsion, he’d always say he wouldn’t do it again but he always did.Like he couldn’t help himself.” Clint rolls away from her with the words, landing on his back at her side and Darcy watches his profile in the low light from the lamps.

There’s no point replying. He can’t hear her and he’s staring up at the ceiling like it did him wrong.She wants to pull him close, wrap him up in every bit of warmth she has to offer and never let him go.

“I think I’m like him Darce. Violent like him.”That is enough to get Darcy moving, sliding under the sheets until she’s pressed up along his side.He doesn’t pull away but he doesn’t pull her in either.“What if it’s just lurking under my skin waiting to come out?”

“Christ,” Darcy mutters to herself.He’s an idiot. She leans up on one arm to reach over him for the hearing aids on the nightstand.Not waiting for him to agree, she swings a leg over his hips and settles in place straddling his stomach.Clint’s watching her with wary eyes but he doesn’t object when she carefully tucks the purple over the ear aids onto him.She’s clumsy with the switches once they’re in place but he is patient until she’s got them both on.“You’re an idiot.”

His face is priceless. “Fuck Darcy,” he says on a rushed breath, “I’m having a bit of a dark moment here.”

“I know and I’m definitely not here for it.” She crosses her arms over her chest and gives him the look she usually reserves for Jane with the astrophysicist hasn’t slept in two days. “Violence lurking under your skin.” She huffs. “Last week you trapped a spider under a water glass until I came home to let it out.” 

“I’ve killed people,” he looks away, “for a living and it turns out not always for the good guys.”

Darcy takes a deep breath.This is a conversation they’ve had a few times since the fall of SHIELD. “You always thought you were doing it for the good guys and you always did it to save lives.” She leans forward to cup his face in both her hands. “You’re a good man.” 

The rush of pink over his nose is almost instant and Darcy fights the urge to kiss him. “I’ve been violent with you. I’ve thrown plates at walls.Christ Darce, I pulled a gun on you once.” 

“Yes,” she agrees, because he has done those things and they were scary, “but it was always during a flashback and you always got help to prevent it from happening again.” She chides softly, smoothing her thumbs over the hot flush of his cheeks.“We both know I’ve left bruises on you from fighting nightmares.” 

He huffs, “That’s different. You couldn’t hurt me.”

“Oh, so violence only counts when the other guy is smaller? I bet Steve would have something to say about that.”She feels vindicated when Clint just rolls his eyes in response. “You’re not like your father. At the very least because you don’t want to be and choice is more than half the battle.” 

“What if I am?” His voice is so small on the question Darcy can’t help the way she drops forward to press her forehead to his. 

“You’re not.You’re a good man Clint, kind, generous, loving, brave, selfless... I could keep going.” She scratches her fingers through the hair at the base of his skull.“You’re good to me, more than I deserve,” his mouth opens and she keeps talking to prevent his interruption, “and I know one day you’ll be a good dad to some kid.I mean you’ve basically raised Kate.Plus, Lucky hasn’t turned out too bad either.” 

Clint lets out a short laugh, trailing his hands up to grip her wrists where they’re still framing his face. “I take no responsibility for Kate and only some for Lucky.”He lets out a slow breath, “You have no idea what kind of father I’ll be. I could end up just like him.”

His inability to see the flawed logic is frustrating.The idea that he doesn’t realize how sweet and good he really is makes her furious.He has to know he’s perfect. He’s just being stubborn at this point but she can be stubborn right back.“You won’t be.”

“You don’t know that.”His voice is on the verge of a whine.

“I’m certain of it.” She is too.

“No one can be certain of something like that.”He argues.

“I’ll prove it to you one day.”She says it to make a point but she knows from the way his eyes widen it’s hit a chord.There’s a sudden tension in the air and Darcy feels the implications of the promise settle over her like a weighted blanket. 

“Can I hold you to that?” Clint’s voice has an undefinable edge to it but it sounds dangerously like hope, his eyes serious and wide as they stare up into hers.

“Yes.” She answers on instinct but the minute the word is out of her mouth she knows it’s true. It’s a promise she’d keep willingly. “Not soon or anything,” she amends quickly, and then softer, “but someday, sure.” 

Clint’s eyes go unfocused for just a second and then he gives her a crooked smile.“Okay.” He agrees and Darcy feels her chest clench up at how breathless he sounds. “I love you Darce.” 

“I love you Clinton.” She says back with a loose smile trying to break the tension still lingering in the air.His smile widens and he swallows thickly.

“Will you sit up with me for a bit? Watch some TV. I can’t go back to sleep.” There’s a hesitation in his voice that Darcy wishes she could banish forever.After he slept for months with every light in their apartment on for her she’d never begrudge him a few hours of 2am television. After everything there’s almost nothing she wouldn’t do for him.

“I’ll make popcorn, you pick the movie?” She’s already climbing off him and the bed as she speaks.“And no spy movies.”

“Why?” Clint’s voice is a whine even though he already knows the answer.

“I’m awake but I’m not awake enough for two hours of ‘that’s not how you hold a gun’ and ‘that make of rifle only has a 6 shots and he took 11’.” Darcy snarks back, searching the room for his hoodie to pull on over her lightweight sleep shirt.

“What about no spies but still explosions?” Darcy looks back at him over her shoulder and sighs.He’s sitting up in the bed, still sleep rumpled, his eyes half lidded.She wants to crawl back in his lap and bury her face in his warm skin. 

“Fine,” she gives in like they both knew she would, “but I get to hold the popcorn.”

“Deal.” He says before crawling from the bed to slide his arms around her from behind.“We don’t have to make it a thing,” he says against at her ear, “but I’d be here for it. The family thing with you I mean.”

Darcy expects the words to create some kind of anxiety or fear.They’ve been together over two years and they’ve only been saying I love you for the last few months, they are the definition of commitment-phobes. Or she is at least. Instead there’s just a warm heat spreading through her chest and she leans back into his embrace.

“But not right now.” She says and her voice is small but steady.

“But not now.” Clint agrees before pressing his face into her neck and inhaling deeply. “Right now, we’re going to go watch a movie and about halfway through I’m going to get those shorts off you, get on my knees, and lick you until you can’t think about anything except my tongue on your cunt.” 

Darcy’s breath stutters and she smiles to herself.This is more her speed at the moment. “Promises, promises.” She singsongs pulling herself free of his arms and darting through the bedroom door before he can drag her back to bed.“C’mon hot shot, you’ve got some big talk to back up.”

**~0~**

It’s their last day on the farm.They’ve patched walls, painted, brought in new furniture, and on one very memorable day repaired a hole in the roof.The house certainly isn’t as modern or well decorated as their New York apartment but it does feel fresh and homey.Darcy is proud of the warm yellow kitchen with the rooster plates hanging over the stove.She also loves the soft gray master bedroom.She will even admit she’s grown fond of the monstrosity of a couch, although she still doesn’t understand the cup holders.

They’ve just eaten a massive dinner in an effort to use up the last of their groceries from the visit and now they’re spread out over the newly repaired porch spring enjoying the warm evening.Darcy has her head in Clint’s lap, one of his hands lazily running through her shaggy hair while he uses a braced foot to push the swing in a gentle glide. A comfortable silence has stretched between them over the course of the night and Darcy is content in a way she hasn’t been in months.She feels safe and warm and loved. She almost doesn’t want to leave.

“Have you had fun?” Clint breaks the silence, his fingers still rubbing wonderful patterns over her scalp.

“I love it here.” She admits on a sigh. “I can officially report back to Jane that your secret farm is lovely.”

Clint snorts, “Is Jane going to keep it a secret farm?”

“Jane is a steel trap when she wants to be.” It’s a conversation they’ve had before but Darcy doesn’t blame him for checking again.Darcy wouldn’t give up the security of this place for just anything.Not now that she’s experienced it. 

“You know it’s our secret farm now right?” Clint’s voice is light but his fingers still in her hair and Darcy rolls her eyes up to look at his face.He’s staring down at her with a serious enough expression that she pulls herself up so she’s sitting on the swing facing him.

“Our farm?” She raises one eyebrow, “I don’t remember signing any papers.”

Clint rolls his eyes, “It’s not like that Darce but it is ours now.You put just almost as much effort into the place as me.” He’s got a teasing smile on. 

“That’s not even remotely true.” She leans forward into him, pressing her face into his shoulder.

“Still our place.” He says and his arms come up to pull her all the way into his lap.It’s an awkward position and Darcy shifts around to try and get comfortable while simultaneously not crushing his balls. Clint waits until she gets settled before he speaks again, “We could make it ours more officially though if you wanted.” 

There’s no expectation in his voice, just the flat intonation of stated fact, and Darcy studies him carefully.“We could do that?” She tries cautiously.Her mind races over all the possibilities and settles on the one petty thing she really wants to know. “Hasn’t this farm been an ours before?” Darcy pauses, leaning back to look him in the eye, “With Bobbi.”

“No.” He says it easily and without hesitation. “I mean, I suppose she did technically own half while we were married but she never came here with me.The only other person who’s been here is Nat and that was just because we needed a place to crash after a rough op nearby. She said she wouldn’t come back until I put in an air conditioner.” Darcy gives him a confused look and he shrugs, “It was July, it’s very hot in July.” 

Darcy rolls her eyes, “Nat is a diva when she wants to be.”She tries to stay neutral but there’s a part of her that is almost too pleased that she’s the first person to come here with him.Nat doesn’t count after all.Clint and his Russian partner are basically the same person.It’s been understood from almost day one that a relationship with him is a relationship with them. 

“That she is.” Clint agrees, reaching up to cup Darcy’s cheek with one big hand. “I didn’t mean this to become a string of double talk about the future baby girl. I’m also not proposing anything specific. I’m just saying I’m here for whatever you want but no matter what that is this place is open to you.Anytime you need it.” It feels like a whole new declaration of love and Darcy melts into him.

“Thank you.” She whispers leaning forward to press her lips against his. 

“Anything.” He mutters against her lips.She kisses him until his hands are buried in her hair and his hips jerk under her. Clint’s the one to break the kiss, leaning back away from her until he can look her in the eye. “We need to talk about something else though. While we’re having all these serious conversations.”

“Oh yeah?” Darcy asks her head still a little hazy from the make out.

“Yeah baby girl.We gotta talk about you.You’ve been hiding Darce.” He’s got a hand heavy on the back of her neck, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against her tense muscles.

“I went shoe shopping right before we left,” she practically whines back, “impulsively.” Darcy knows it isn’t enough.Everything he’s saying is true and then some. She has been hiding, refusing to leave the upper levels of the tower most of the time, not going back to work or even trying to find new work. 

“You know what I mean Darce. I’m not saying you need to get out and about.In fact, I think we both know I enjoy you being safe but it’s not like you to be timid.What’s going on?”

She lets out a slow breath.“It’s easy.” Saying it out loud feels like a cop out because it is easy.Easy to hide from the way crowds make her nervous and strangers make her heart pick up. Easy to let Tony support her. Easy to lean back on her trust fund.Easy to sink into Tony’s protective attentions and yield to just staying in rather than fight to go out. 

“I know.” Clint says quietly and his hand slides down from her neck to sit low on her back. “Easy can be nice Darce but not if it steals your joy.”

“I have joy.” She snaps defensively and she knows from the way Clint doesn’t react that he’d been expecting the reaction. 

“I know you do but we gotta find ways to help you keep it.To keep you safe and keep the things you love.” The speech is so familiar.Darcy remembers giving him a similar pep talk when trying to kick him off her couch post Loki.

“I have the things I love in the tower.” She tries but she knows it’s not going to work from the way Clint shakes his head with a rueful smile.

“You know that’s not what I mean Darcy.” He pulls her closer and she settles against him comfortably. “You haven’t gone to the park or demanded Tony take you to Brooklyn for cheesecake.You told Pepper no when she tried to take you after Christmas shopping — you love sale shopping.” 

She does love sale shopping.She loves all the things he mentioned.“I shopped online.”

“Darcy.” He says her name with a huff of frustration.“Look I’m not saying you have to be exactly who you were but I want to make sure you’re not hiding because you’re scared. I want to help if I can.”

“I’m trying,” Darcy finally says, “and the therapist says that’s enough for now.”

“As long as you know I’m here to help if you need it.” Clint says easily and Darcy can tell he’s going to let it drop for now but not forever. 

“What if the only way for you to help is to go shopping with me?” She asks with a teasing note in her voice.

“Do I get to come in the dressing room.” His leer is absolutely wicked.

“Shoe shopping.” She clarifies.

“Question still stands.” He says.

“You want to go shoe shopping with me?” Darcy asks, heat pooling in her stomach.

“Are you kidding,” Clint says, his arms around her tightening, “you in heels, all the bending over to put them on and take them off... I’d follow you around shoe shopping anytime.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Darcy says with warning in her voice but Clint’s smile just gets bigger. 

“Baby girl, I’m going to hold _you_ to that.”He tugs her up to press his mouth against hers in a rough kiss, “As soon as we’re back.” He says as he pulls away. 

“I almost don’t want to go back.What if I wanted to stay here? Just become a farmer, get an alpaca.” Darcy doesn’t expect him to take her seriously but she can tell from the way his face evens out that he’s giving her real consideration.

“If that was what you needed we could make it work.” He finally says, “I’d have to travel in and out if they needed me for ops and living here full time wouldn’t change that you couldn’t tell anyone where you are but if you feel safe here and you need that we could do it.” 

Darcy opens her mouth to reply and then closes it then opens it again.That’s not what she expected.“You’d live here with me? In your childhood home. With no WiFi. Where you can’t watch TV if it’s raining too hard because the satellite goes out. Forever. All because it might make me feel safer.”

Clint looks at her like she’s an idiot. “Of course I would Darce.”

“I love you.” Darcy says quietly and she loves the way his face lights up at the words.“I don’t deserve even half of what you do for me.” 

“Oh, don’t go down that road Darce. If we start trying to keep score with each other we won’t have time to do anything else.”Clint cups the back of her head again to pull her close. “I love you too by the way.”He presses his forehead to her temple, “Do you want to stay here baby girl? Do I need to shoot Nat a text and get our apartment packed up?”

“No.” Darcy says, “I need to go back. We need to go back but it’s nice to know this place is here if we need it.”She lets her eyes trail over the sparse front yard, the barn, the various farm tools still strewn about. “Thank you for all this. For everything.”

“You’re welcome. Come here.”He pulls her bodily with the word, shifting her weight until she’s completely in his lap, tucked into his chest safe and warm.“So, over the course of two weeks have I convinced you that we do not, in fact, need a farmhand?”

Darcy laughs, “I dunno hot shot, I may still need some convincing.” 

“Well by all means, let me try to convince you again.” The words are said over Darcy’s shriek as he stands in one easy move, her body cradled in his arms.“One night left baby let’s make it worth it.” 

Darcy’s laughter trails them into the house.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, or even if you didn’t, I’d love to hear from you!! ❤️


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